The way in which we relate to other people

“Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” 1 Corinthians 1:10

In the next verse Paul said I hear things and, “it hath been declared unto me of you, my brethren…that there are contentions among you.

How we relate to other people affects us personally, and as believers it affects us spiritually too. Regardless of how well (emotionally) you think of yourself, it becomes irrelevant when you start to relate with others.

It is important that you become the kind of person who you would want others to become for you. That you treat others, the way you would want to be treated too. 

“So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.” John 13:12-15

He said I’ve laid you an example, go and do likewise. What he meant is look at other people in your life as equals. If we look down on people, and judge them negatively, we build our confidence on the assumption that we are better than they, and building your life like that is same as building on a very shaky, sandy, unstable ground.

Don’t put other people down to make yourself feel better. I used to have a pastor/mentor I very much liked, I still do. I’ve learnt a lot from him. He is a great speaker, such as would attract a standing obviation. However, I remember talking to people about how great this man of God is, but each time I was talking about how fantastic he is, I was unconsciously putting myself down. I realised I was comparing myself with him and putting myself beneath him. I was feeling low, anxious and sad because I was included in this man’s life but no way I was going to rise to his level. When I realised it wasn’t doing me much good I stopped following him. I stopped because I was feeling what I really didn’t need to, and it was because I judged him up, and myself, down. When I stopped, wow, my inner self was released. I started to feel great again.

The point is it’s easy to put people down but also unconsciously put others up. If you put people down you’re putting yourself above them and if you put them above, you’re putting yourself beneath them, and that’s not the way to grow in the Lord or to win friends. It is important to treat people as mere equals. 

One friend of mine invited me to preach in his church. I learnt so much that day. To cut the long story short we were able to bring each other to the same level. No one felt inferior or superior to the other.  We grew up together but as you mature you understand things differently, and it is at that stage that one rises to judge the other and rate the other either or, or make unhealthy comparisons.

But Paul says, “For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal? Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. For we are labourers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building.” 1 Corinthians 3:4-9

The quality of the relationship we keep with each other will always determine whether we are going to keep people up or down, or bringing them to our level.

God bless,


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Laurence Muzembi (Th.D, D.D, MDiv, B.A in Biblical Studies, Cert in Counselling & Psychotherapy ) is author, pastor, life coach and business consultant. Tired of seeing Christians stumble and crush landing, he sets up Muzembi.Org as a guiding beacon for them, and to make a difference.


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LC Muzembi

Biblical advice for new and growing Christians