“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4
What does it mean to have an undefiled marriage bed?
To possess an undefiled marriage bed between a couple begins with a variety of admonitions such as loving each other, showing hospitality, and taking care of your loved ones. “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1). For there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. Always remember that marriage is an honorable institution, it was ordained by God, and that he sanctioned to be sexually undefiled. God will indeed judge fornicators and adulterers.
The word “undefiled” literally means unsoiled, pure or free from the nature of a thing that is deformed and debased. This verse relates to every aspect of the marriage union, i.e., whether it’s interpersonal, acquaintance between two, love, solidarity, regular interactions, commitments, friendship, work, worship, or sexually, etc. Everything done by the two is all consensual, whatever it is they do, it must first be discussed by the two and agreed upon, whether it’s sex, paying bills, showing hospitality, and taking care of the loved ones.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” Hebrews 13:4
Submitting one to another is of paramount importance, it should not be one sided. Both the husband and the wife needs to seriously consider for example their mate’s sexual needs and their capabilities. Each should regard their bodies as belonging to their mate and not under their own total control to do with it whatever they please, there is nothing wrong in you opening a joint bank account.
Paul’s admonition is intercourse should be refrained from, only by mutual agreement for the purpose of fasting and prayer, after which time the couple should come together so that they are not tempted to fulfill their needs elsewhere. What that means is suffice each other’s needs and stay alert, know what it means to have an undefiled martial relationship, know also what can defile it. Defraud ye not one the other, in any way or form, to keep your sexual relationship pure and avoid illicit practices. I like the book of 1Corinthians because it offers us a few principles regarding having proper behaviour within a marriage union.